Poll story draft

The Wittenberg Bubble isn’t quite as protective as one might think. Despite its reputation for academic excellence and religious affiliation, Wittenberg University houses students that know how to have fun. They streak, they steal, and they certainly have sex.
A recent non-scientific poll designed to reveal students’ “secret sins” was distributed to 118 students of both genders and all classes. The results ranged from funny to downright frightening.
While most are familiar with the infamous task of streaking the Hollow at Wittenberg, many may not realize that the penchant for streaking extends far beyond the campus gates.
“I streaked a football game in highschool,” admits one student, a venture which ended in the backseat of a cop car. He certainly isn’t alone, 64 others admitted to streaking, one even recalled a streaking adventure through two sorority houses.
But once those clothes are off, Wittenberg students appear to have a hard time putting them back on. Twenty-two students have had threesomes, while 82 admitted to sexting someone. The most popular place to have sex? Anywhere in public.
“I had sex in a pool with a girl while 30 people were watching,” says one student. Other public showings include a public bathroom at a hotel, outside a park while a family was playing nearby, and one student admits to having “made love in the club at McMurrays.” Others get points for ambition. One student attempted a foursome, while another had a threesome with a pair of twins.
Of course, there are some who keep their craziness under wraps, admitting only to adventures in bungy jumping or sky diving, or a quick skinny dip in a neighbors pool. Shoplifting was a frequent occurrence. Fifty students said they had taken something, and items ranged from condoms to kitty litter.
Others take their risky business to a whole new level—a drug induced level. One student snorted Vicadin, another beer bonged 151, and one had a memorable “LSD induced conversation with a bunny.” Overall, 50 students reported that they had taken Adderall not prescribed to them, and 73 had driven under the influence.
It also appears that schoolwork is often a casualty in a student’s quest for fun; some of the most surprising results were related to academics. Ninety-five students admitted to cheating in school, and 78 have come to class under the influence.
Not to burst the Wittenberg bubble, but it looks like the college experience can be defined as crazy.